just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize