If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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