look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
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You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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