went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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