i don't like sucking hair
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
