For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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