I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
