Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize