Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
