I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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