i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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