Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
