Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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