I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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