no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
