i already hear my dad disowning me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
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