Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
