i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
