all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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