What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
