Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
