sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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