i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
