I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
