How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
