sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
