You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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