he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
