omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize