At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
