I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
