Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
