No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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