It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
