I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
