dude i'm inner monologue high
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
