Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
