I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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