There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize