Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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