I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
