I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
