She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
