there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize