I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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