If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
