There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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