Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dick very happy bro
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
