its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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