I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
