If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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