when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
