just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
