the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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