wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
