1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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