I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
