you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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