he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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