I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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