Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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