found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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